Let us at the Word of God…What does it say about the role
of a man and woman in the economy of a marriage?
See Genesis 3:16-19.
God ordained man to work. The keyword we are noting is
“work”. 1Thessalonians 3:10 states that a man who does not
work, does not eat.
To woman He gave the task/vocation of bringing forth
children. The Hebrew word for “children” in this passage
indicates building a family name, a lineage. How wonderful that
He has involved us in eternal affairs! Think of that the next
time you change a diaper or settle a sibling squabble. You are
a builder of the Kingdom of God!
God from the beginning establishes the preeminent connection
of women with children and husbands. “Your desire shall be to
thy husband.” This “desire” denotes a longing for that takes
action. Are not most of our daily tasks working toward
building our husbands up in love? While we wives have this
strong feeling for our husbands, God ordained that “he shall
rule over thee”. God has given husbands the role of governor
in the family unit, giving them authority to reign in this
relationship. (Taken from the Hebrew.)
This is not just an Old Testament curse. We can see this same
relationship expounded in many scriptures in the New
Testament. Ephesians 6 first coming to mind.
In 1Corinthians 7:32-34 Paul compares the affections and
desires of the unmarried versus married. Read this passage.
Once married it is inevitable that our hearts/minds/time are
spent towards our spouses. This is a good place to
consider…. Reread verses 32 and 33. Have you ever
considered that your husband IS concerned with the earthly
matters of you and your family? I used to only think about how
much I was giving to my marriage relationship, but the Holy
Spirit showed me through this scripture that it is God ordained
that my husband thinks about me as well! Maybe he does not
show me consideration in the way that I would like (surprise
roses and warm cozy hugs maybe?) But nonetheless, he does,
IS considering me in love by providing for me. You may have
heard the couple (this could be me) in which the wife stated
frustratingly, “You never show me you love me!” The husband
applies most assuredly, “Darling, ever day that I work to
provide for your physical needs I am showing you my love.”
Do you honor your husband concerning his work? How? We
can thank him verbally, praise him (to him and the children and in
public), pray for him in his work, thank God for the work that he
has. Or too often do you not honor him by being resentful
for the time he does work? Grumble if you think he is spending
too much time working? Do you have the attitude that when he
is home it is time for him to share the house work and “take over”
with the kids? Those of us that have husbands that are self-
employed are directly involved with that employment. Do we
overstep our bounds and try to “govern” his work? Do we
infer comments that he could be doing better instead of
encouraging him? If he is employed do we press him for the
promotion? What is your tone and motive if this is true?
Yes, God made us (women) to be our husband’s help-meets.
Be a source to meet his helps. Is that your focus? Or are your
thoughts and energies always on how your husband can help
you get things done? Are you trying to be boss? Do you try
to govern your husband so that he will adapt to the life that
you see your family living? Ouch. I have had to repent of this
and remind myself that the family life is not all about what I
want. Have you ever asked your husband what is the life that
he wants for your family and how can you help to bring that to
pass? You might me very surprised by his answer. My husband
desires that I take care of the children, house, his physical
needs. Amazingly simple, (not necessarily easy!) This then
frees him up to work hard and come home to enjoy his family.
Before we move from this point of honoring our husbands in
their employment, let us delve a little deeper. It is good to allow
the Spirit of God to search and try us. What comes to mind
when you hear “Jezebel”? Did you know that her name actually
is “Chaste” in the Hebrew? NOT! As we will see Jezebel
was anything but modest and humble. Turn and read 1Kings
16:31. Here we see that Kin Ahab took Jezebel as wife. In
the same sentence it is written that he also served Baal. Verse
33 goes on to say that Ahab did more to provoke the Lord
and anger Him than all the kings of Israel before him! In 1Kings
18:4, 13 Jezebel takes over the responsibilities of King. She
had the prophets of the Lord murdered! Who did this woman
think she was! 1Kings 19:1-2 reads that when her husband told
her about Elijah (how he slain the prophets of Baal and
Asherah) she again took authority into her own hands. She
threatens the life of Elijah the prophet of God. Elijah just
having stood ground victoriously with 850 evil prophets whom
he had also slain was now running into hiding from one woman!!
Can you picture this? What audacity this woman had. Read
1Kings 21:5-8 and verses 14-16. True to her manipulating
character she again takes matters into her own hands. (Her
husband was not getting it done!) “I will give you…” However,
this was her final sin as the Lord said of her, “The dogs shall
eat Jezebel by the wall of Jezreel.” (vs. 23) And of Ahab He
said, “For there was no one who sold himself to do evil in the
sight of the Lord as did Ahab, incited by his wife Jezebel.” (vs.
25) This word “incite” means to “prick, stimulate, entice
persuade” (remind you of the word nag?)
Now dear sister, I would feel confident stating that none of us
have provoked our husbands to do evil as Jezebel had. But let
us take sober warning. As with Eve, her sin was to attempt to
control her husband at all.
How do you interact with your husband? What we think may
be encouragement (to look for that better job…or giving him
advice that he dos not ask for) MAY BE manipulation for
selfish reasons? To obtain something because we think we
know better than he does? Are you trusting in God’s
leading to lead him?
Let us consider two contrasting examples to that of Jezebel:
Esther and Mary the mother of Jesus. Esther as Queen did
not presume upon her position to assert authority she did not
have. When persuaded to by her uncle to approach her
husband the King concerning her people’s predicament.
Esther knew that their plight was completely in the hands of the
King (not hers). She also knew that to approach the King
without first being summoned by him could result in her very
death. She asked her uncle to have the entire Jewish
population pray and fast for her. A definite example of her
humility. Now consider Mary who having the God-child in her
womb followed and relied on her husband to guide her.
Scripture does not note the Lord speaking directly to her
but Joseph. Even later when Jesus was a small child it was
through Joseph’s leading that they went to Egypt for safety.
This is the human family God chose for His Son. This is our
example.
Again let us establish to roles for employment for a husband
and wife. Exodus 21:10 shows us the importance that the
Lord placed on the basic categories in which the man is
responsible to provide for his wife not allowing them to be
diminished: food, clothing, and conjugal rights. The wife’s
role then is to manage these provisions for the welfare
of the family. (Proverbs 31:11, 13-19, 21, 22, 24, 25, 27)
Titus 2 expounds these roles as well. We see that a woman’s
role is the domain of her home and children. This is our
centrality- home. Loving our husbands, rearing children,
keepers at home. Do you know what is our payment for
employment? “The fruit of the womb”. In Psalm127:3 this
"fruit" is exactly defined as "salary, payment of contract,
compensation, benefit”. And I thought they were just work? (:
Children are a heritage from the Lord. Remember Genesis 3
that God ordained women to be builders of the heritage line?
These blessings are definitely our work and our reward.
Consider your role as wife-
Appreciate and respect your husband’s God-given
role as provider.
Accept your role with gratitude and live it out with
overflowing JOY! The world will then see God
glorified! Remember these are “r-o-l-e-s” not “rules”. Each
of us have unique family personas. There may even be some
husbands who desire that their wife DOES work outside of
the home. However, do not forsake the foundation laid for us
in Titus 2. Then, the Lord will be well pleased and His word
will not be blasphemed. (verse 5)
~Mrs. Nicol Epple
Copright 2007
of a man and woman in the economy of a marriage?
See Genesis 3:16-19.
God ordained man to work. The keyword we are noting is
“work”. 1Thessalonians 3:10 states that a man who does not
work, does not eat.
To woman He gave the task/vocation of bringing forth
children. The Hebrew word for “children” in this passage
indicates building a family name, a lineage. How wonderful that
He has involved us in eternal affairs! Think of that the next
time you change a diaper or settle a sibling squabble. You are
a builder of the Kingdom of God!
God from the beginning establishes the preeminent connection
of women with children and husbands. “Your desire shall be to
thy husband.” This “desire” denotes a longing for that takes
action. Are not most of our daily tasks working toward
building our husbands up in love? While we wives have this
strong feeling for our husbands, God ordained that “he shall
rule over thee”. God has given husbands the role of governor
in the family unit, giving them authority to reign in this
relationship. (Taken from the Hebrew.)
This is not just an Old Testament curse. We can see this same
relationship expounded in many scriptures in the New
Testament. Ephesians 6 first coming to mind.
In 1Corinthians 7:32-34 Paul compares the affections and
desires of the unmarried versus married. Read this passage.
Once married it is inevitable that our hearts/minds/time are
spent towards our spouses. This is a good place to
consider…. Reread verses 32 and 33. Have you ever
considered that your husband IS concerned with the earthly
matters of you and your family? I used to only think about how
much I was giving to my marriage relationship, but the Holy
Spirit showed me through this scripture that it is God ordained
that my husband thinks about me as well! Maybe he does not
show me consideration in the way that I would like (surprise
roses and warm cozy hugs maybe?) But nonetheless, he does,
IS considering me in love by providing for me. You may have
heard the couple (this could be me) in which the wife stated
frustratingly, “You never show me you love me!” The husband
applies most assuredly, “Darling, ever day that I work to
provide for your physical needs I am showing you my love.”
Do you honor your husband concerning his work? How? We
can thank him verbally, praise him (to him and the children and in
public), pray for him in his work, thank God for the work that he
has. Or too often do you not honor him by being resentful
for the time he does work? Grumble if you think he is spending
too much time working? Do you have the attitude that when he
is home it is time for him to share the house work and “take over”
with the kids? Those of us that have husbands that are self-
employed are directly involved with that employment. Do we
overstep our bounds and try to “govern” his work? Do we
infer comments that he could be doing better instead of
encouraging him? If he is employed do we press him for the
promotion? What is your tone and motive if this is true?
Yes, God made us (women) to be our husband’s help-meets.
Be a source to meet his helps. Is that your focus? Or are your
thoughts and energies always on how your husband can help
you get things done? Are you trying to be boss? Do you try
to govern your husband so that he will adapt to the life that
you see your family living? Ouch. I have had to repent of this
and remind myself that the family life is not all about what I
want. Have you ever asked your husband what is the life that
he wants for your family and how can you help to bring that to
pass? You might me very surprised by his answer. My husband
desires that I take care of the children, house, his physical
needs. Amazingly simple, (not necessarily easy!) This then
frees him up to work hard and come home to enjoy his family.
Before we move from this point of honoring our husbands in
their employment, let us delve a little deeper. It is good to allow
the Spirit of God to search and try us. What comes to mind
when you hear “Jezebel”? Did you know that her name actually
is “Chaste” in the Hebrew? NOT! As we will see Jezebel
was anything but modest and humble. Turn and read 1Kings
16:31. Here we see that Kin Ahab took Jezebel as wife. In
the same sentence it is written that he also served Baal. Verse
33 goes on to say that Ahab did more to provoke the Lord
and anger Him than all the kings of Israel before him! In 1Kings
18:4, 13 Jezebel takes over the responsibilities of King. She
had the prophets of the Lord murdered! Who did this woman
think she was! 1Kings 19:1-2 reads that when her husband told
her about Elijah (how he slain the prophets of Baal and
Asherah) she again took authority into her own hands. She
threatens the life of Elijah the prophet of God. Elijah just
having stood ground victoriously with 850 evil prophets whom
he had also slain was now running into hiding from one woman!!
Can you picture this? What audacity this woman had. Read
1Kings 21:5-8 and verses 14-16. True to her manipulating
character she again takes matters into her own hands. (Her
husband was not getting it done!) “I will give you…” However,
this was her final sin as the Lord said of her, “The dogs shall
eat Jezebel by the wall of Jezreel.” (vs. 23) And of Ahab He
said, “For there was no one who sold himself to do evil in the
sight of the Lord as did Ahab, incited by his wife Jezebel.” (vs.
25) This word “incite” means to “prick, stimulate, entice
persuade” (remind you of the word nag?)
Now dear sister, I would feel confident stating that none of us
have provoked our husbands to do evil as Jezebel had. But let
us take sober warning. As with Eve, her sin was to attempt to
control her husband at all.
How do you interact with your husband? What we think may
be encouragement (to look for that better job…or giving him
advice that he dos not ask for) MAY BE manipulation for
selfish reasons? To obtain something because we think we
know better than he does? Are you trusting in God’s
leading to lead him?
Let us consider two contrasting examples to that of Jezebel:
Esther and Mary the mother of Jesus. Esther as Queen did
not presume upon her position to assert authority she did not
have. When persuaded to by her uncle to approach her
husband the King concerning her people’s predicament.
Esther knew that their plight was completely in the hands of the
King (not hers). She also knew that to approach the King
without first being summoned by him could result in her very
death. She asked her uncle to have the entire Jewish
population pray and fast for her. A definite example of her
humility. Now consider Mary who having the God-child in her
womb followed and relied on her husband to guide her.
Scripture does not note the Lord speaking directly to her
but Joseph. Even later when Jesus was a small child it was
through Joseph’s leading that they went to Egypt for safety.
This is the human family God chose for His Son. This is our
example.
Again let us establish to roles for employment for a husband
and wife. Exodus 21:10 shows us the importance that the
Lord placed on the basic categories in which the man is
responsible to provide for his wife not allowing them to be
diminished: food, clothing, and conjugal rights. The wife’s
role then is to manage these provisions for the welfare
of the family. (Proverbs 31:11, 13-19, 21, 22, 24, 25, 27)
Titus 2 expounds these roles as well. We see that a woman’s
role is the domain of her home and children. This is our
centrality- home. Loving our husbands, rearing children,
keepers at home. Do you know what is our payment for
employment? “The fruit of the womb”. In Psalm127:3 this
"fruit" is exactly defined as "salary, payment of contract,
compensation, benefit”. And I thought they were just work? (:
Children are a heritage from the Lord. Remember Genesis 3
that God ordained women to be builders of the heritage line?
These blessings are definitely our work and our reward.
Consider your role as wife-
Appreciate and respect your husband’s God-given
role as provider.
Accept your role with gratitude and live it out with
overflowing JOY! The world will then see God
glorified! Remember these are “r-o-l-e-s” not “rules”. Each
of us have unique family personas. There may even be some
husbands who desire that their wife DOES work outside of
the home. However, do not forsake the foundation laid for us
in Titus 2. Then, the Lord will be well pleased and His word
will not be blasphemed. (verse 5)
~Mrs. Nicol Epple
Copright 2007
The Roles of Employment in a Marriage
